My ambition is to fully exploit the rhetorical devices of poststructuralism–invariably employed in the promotion of queer theory, feminism, multiculturalism and related liberal intellectual excrescences–to reveal and demolish the sentimental moralizing on which these positions covertly rely. Postructuralism has copped a bad reputation because of its all-too-close association with these perverse liberal projects. But in every instance these resentful attempts to subvert the authority of the phallus unwittingly demonstrate its indispensability. Liberal naiveté consists in the assumption that the revelation that “normative” categories and practices rest on unequal power distribution fatally undermines them. I overturn this assumption. Given that no civilization worthy of the name has ever existed exist without the unequal, phallocratically administered distribution of power, “oppressive” norms and hierarchies prove to be fundamental. What should concern us as a culture is not the various phony phobias hurled at critics of liberal “diversity” (homophobia, transphobia, etc.) but the naturalization of the prissy phallophobia that threatens to reduce what remains of Western culture to a pile of malformed shit.